“You are so lucky!” If you are a stay at home mom, you have probably heard this almost every single time you mention that is your job. While, yes, I agree that I am fortunate to have the opportunity to stay at home with my kids instead of someone else raising them, it is certainly not all it’s cracked up to be! This is, without a doubt, the hardest thing I have ever done my entire life.
When I got pregnant with my daughter, who is now two, my husband and I decided I would be a stay at home mother since we didn’t need two incomes and it was important that we raise our kids and not a nanny. I am going to throw out there now that I do not see anything wrong with putting your kids in daycare or getting a sitter; it just is not for us, especially since it financially made sense.
Here are some of the things I face on a daily basis.
- Someone will always need you
Kiss peace and quiet goodbye, especially if you have more than one child. (Even when I only had one, I never had any quiet time!) Right when one child is good and you feel you have control over your life, your other one will fall and need you to tend to their owie. If your husband or significant other is home, if something goes wrong with one of the kids, they want mom every. single. time. Daddy can’t kiss an ouchie like mommy can. This is truly a 24 hour job. Your home life is your work life and vice versa. I am literally typing this with one baby sucking my boob and the toddler hugging my leg.
- Despite being incredibly busy, you may feel like you’re not doing enough
If you’re anything like me, you were working and use to being completely independent or at least contributing financially. I could literally work my butt off all day with cleaning, taking care of the kids, cooking, running errands, etc., and still feel like I am not contributing enough to my family since I am not bringing in an income. Way easier said than done but, we ARE doing enough! This is a subject I could go on and on about because it is something I still, to this day, struggle with but that’s for another time.
- Cabin fever
I had no idea cabin fever was a thing until I became a stay at home mom. I know I am not alone when I see other moms walking around aimlessly at target just to get out of the house. No matter how much I try to switch it up at home with arts and crafts, different rotation of toys, a new movie, or new game, I still NEED to get out of the house. Living in Colorado, I can’t just walk outside during the long winter months so we have to try to do what we can indoors. At the same time, I refuse to have my kids play on the flu infested play sets at the mall too. It’s a balancing act for sure.
- You strive for adult socialization
Your husband/ SO is really your only relief so you can’t wait for him to get home. He gets home and is tired and doesn’t have much to talk about. Sometimes you do play dates but, let’s be honest, you only talk about your kids. Don’t get me wrong though; these playdates are what get me through my week! It is so nice to have another mommy understand what I am going through. Day to day, it’s you and these tiny humans that cannot relate to you or hold any sort of conversation that you would want.
- You’ll never miss a milestone
I have to put this in here because as hard of a job as this is, there are benefits. Yes, it’s difficult but you will always be there to see first step, first giggle, first word, etc. Most importantly, when we look back when our kids are all grown, we will (hopefully) be able to feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that we contributed our blood, sweat, and tears…many, many tears…into them becoming decent human beings.
Although there are hurdles we have to jump through just to make it a single day in the life of a stay at home mom, we can take solace in the fact that we are not alone and there will be good days along with the days that have 300 hours in them. I constantly remind myself that it will all be worth it in the end and to try to live in the moment because, even though we have heard this a million times, they are not young forever!