Stay at home mom

Five Brutal Realities of Being A Stay at Home Mom

My reality.

“You are so lucky!” If you are a stay at home mom, you have probably heard this almost every single time you mention that is your job. While, yes, I agree that I am fortunate to have the opportunity to stay at home with my kids instead of someone else raising them, it is certainly not all it’s cracked up to be! This is, without a doubt, the hardest thing I have ever done my entire life.

When I got pregnant with my daughter, who is now two, my husband and I decided I would be a stay at home mother since we didn’t need two incomes and it was important that we raise our kids and not a nanny. I am going to throw out there now that I do not see anything wrong with putting your kids in daycare or getting a sitter; it just is not for us, especially since it financially made sense.

Here are some of the things I face on a daily basis.

  1. Someone will always need you

Kiss peace and quiet goodbye, especially if you have more than one child. (Even when I only had one, I never had any quiet time!) Right when one child is good and you feel you have control over your life, your other one will fall and need you to tend to their owie. If your husband or significant other is home, if something goes wrong with one of the kids, they want mom every. single. time. Daddy can’t kiss an ouchie like mommy can. This is truly a 24 hour job. Your home life is your work life and vice versa. I am literally typing this with one baby sucking my boob and the toddler hugging my leg.

  1. Despite being incredibly busy, you may feel like you’re not doing enough

If you’re anything like me, you were working and use to being completely independent or at least contributing financially. I could literally work my butt off all day with cleaning, taking care of the kids, cooking, running errands, etc., and still feel like I am not contributing enough to my family since I am not bringing in an income. Way easier said than done but, we ARE doing enough! This is a subject I could go on and on about because it is something I still, to this day, struggle with but that’s for another time.

  1. Cabin fever

I had no idea cabin fever was a thing until I became a stay at home mom. I know I am not alone when I see other moms walking around aimlessly at target just to get out of the house. No matter how much I try to switch it up at home with arts and crafts, different rotation of toys, a new movie, or new game, I still NEED to get out of the house. Living in Colorado, I can’t just walk outside during the long winter months so we have to try to do what we can indoors. At the same time, I refuse to have my kids play on the flu infested play sets at the mall too. It’s a balancing act for sure.

  1. You strive for adult socialization

Your husband/ SO is really your only relief so you can’t wait for him to get home. He gets home and is tired and doesn’t have much to talk about. Sometimes you do play dates but, let’s be honest, you only talk about your kids. Don’t get me wrong though; these playdates are what get me through my week! It is so nice to have another mommy understand what I am going through. Day to day, it’s you and these tiny humans that cannot relate to you or hold any sort of conversation that you would want.

  1. You’ll never miss a milestone

I have to put this in here because as hard of a job as this is, there are benefits. Yes, it’s difficult but you will always be there to see first step, first giggle, first word, etc. Most importantly, when we look back when our kids are all grown, we will (hopefully) be able to feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that we contributed our blood, sweat, and tears…many, many tears…into them becoming decent human beings.

 

Although there are hurdles we have to jump through just to make it a single day in the life of a stay at home mom, we can take solace in the fact that we are not alone and there will be good days along with the days that have 300 hours in them. I constantly remind myself that it will all be worth it in the end and to try to live in the moment because, even though we have heard this a million times, they are not young forever!

22 Comments

  • Shannon Dewease

    I could not agree more! There are a lot of constant struggles with being a stay at home Mom, and your article is point on! (Cabin fever is so so real, and seriously, I know more about Blues Clues than I do about current news!) Keep up the good work!

  • Amanda Gore

    This is so true! I went from being a stay at home mom, to work full time mom, back to being a stay at home mom, and stay at home mom is so much harder then working! You never go to the bathroom alone!

    Loved this post!

  • Lacy Ngo

    Yes! I soooo can relate to this. I remember thinking I would have all this time to exercise or get dressed slowly. Ha! I barely have time to pee before some kind of sibling battle or boo boo, or hunger cry breaks out!

    • zerimama

      Gone are the days of a daily shower and make up! I can survive a couple days of no shower and a few baby wipes. I have just accepted that I will always smell like breast milk. Ha!

    • zerimama

      Yes! I think we are wired to be a certain way and there is no way around “mom guilt” which I will be posting about another time!

  • Emma Conrad

    I’m about to have my first baby in 3-4 weeks and I’ve been struggling so hard with the idea of slowly transitioning into SAHM status. It both excites and terrifies me lol I’m not sure if I will love it or hate it!

    • zerimama

      Congratulations! There really is nothing like being a mommy. It is the greatest feeling in the entire world! I hope this post didn’t scare you too much! These were just some things that I wish I had known going into it. It’s hard…really hard…but I promise it is amazing! Just hang on to those good moments.

  • hannah

    I couldn’t agree more about the not contributing enough part.
    Not sire if its because my eldest isnt my husbands child or just if it’s the same for every stay at home mum. But I feel constant guilt for not doing enough even when I know I’ve not sat down to even pee alone all day lol.

    • zerimama

      I think that is my number one thing too! I try to do anything I can to contribute. I actually extreme coupon to help out…and it’s a hobby! Win/win!

  • Brandy

    Cabin fever is definitely real lol! I’m a SAHM and our family currently only has one vehicle so I am stuck home the vast majority of the time. It’s tough somedays, I miss having conversations with actual adults lol.

  • Mirlene

    I truly enjoyed reading this post. Though I am not a stay at home mom, I do stay at home 2 a week and each time, I always say I do not know how full-time stay at home moms do it. It definitely teaches you a lot about yourself. With every challenge comes rewards. You will always look back and be thankful for the opportunity. Great post!

  • Jenna

    Love it. So relatable on so many levels! I love the days when everyone gets along and I have time to cuddle and kiss them and they dont struggle to get away from me. But the days when everything seems difficult and no one wants to listen are SO HARD. I love my mommy dates!

  • Leigh

    I tweeted this, because its actually some of the reasons I’m nervous to become a mom! I’ve heard so many stay-at-home moms talk about these same things and what a struggle it is to reconcile their lives now with these same realities!

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