Stay at home mom

I Love You, but I Hate your Video Game

Dearest Husband,

I love the way you love me and your family. I love how you treat us and how great you are with the kids. I love when you help me when I need it most. I love how physically and mentally strong you are. I love that you have hobbies outside of us. I love that you are a hard worker and manly man. Despite how much I love you and your hobbies, I absolutely, with everything in me, hate your video game.

Writing this blog will probably take me a total of 5 hours with all of the interruptions from OUR kids, yet you can have 3 hours of uninterrupted time on your computer game because God forbid you pause it for two seconds. Oh, you can’t pause it because you are playing live? I don’t care. When I was going into labor and you could not stop your game, that is when the line is crossed.

I appreciate you more than you will ever know for financially taking care of all of us and going to work 5 days a week. I understand that it can get stressful sometimes and you need a break to get some “you time.” Now, I need you to see where I am coming from. I take care of our kids 24 hours a day. I do not get a break even though you think I can take a nap when the kids are napping which, by the way, is NEVER at the same time.

You come home and want to unwind, I want and need a break, and your kids are excited to see you and ready to spend some time with you. They only get a couple hours with you before they have to go to bed and no, our daughter does not like sitting on your lap while you play your game even though you like to think she does. She will take what she can get and I do not think it is fair to anyone, including you, if she is sitting on your lap pounding away at the keyboard to get a reaction out of you. Plus, I do NOT want my daughter growing up thinking this is okay for quality time with daddy or, even worse, become a gamer. (No offense.)

Can we talk about the mood you get in when you don’t win a game? My goodness! If you lose, I have to walk on eggshells around you just in case I say the wrong thing. I have learned to NEVER say “it’s going to be okay, it’s just a game” because I now know that is a trigger phrase. I would almost rather you to go back to the game for another hour just so you can redeem yourself, win, and then tell me about how you won with whatever character it is that I don’t care about.

I think it is hilarious how you like to justify you playing a game! Just because my brother or your best friend is online and playing, that does not give you a free pass. I do not think any higher of the game just because others are doing it with you. In fact, I know that my brother’s wife hates the game just as much as I do! You giving me cute puppy dog eyes is not helping you out neither.

You know what is the worst? When I ask you to do something because I didn’t realize you are on the computer and one of two things happen. If it has nothing to do with the kids, you will immediately say that you just started a game. I think I hate this so much because I know you are going to be useless for at least an hour. If I ask you to do something pertaining one of our kids like asking for help, all you do is yell at our daughter to do something which, let’s be honest, is a waste of time.

I am not, by any means, asking you to give up your game! I think it is important to have your own little things that you like doing by yourself. For me, I like to shower or pee by myself. Oh, wait…
I am, however, asking that you think before playing a game. There is a time and place for everything. If you come home one day and your computer is gone, know that you did something really wrong…like WHEN I WAS IN LABOR. No, I will never let that down.

Sincerely,
your wife

Ps. I really do love you.

33 Comments

  • Meg

    If my partner ever gets like this I will absolutely upload profanity on the book on him. That sort of behaviour especially as a father is terrible. I’m a gamer too, I like my free time but I’m also not a Mum. But if you want to game you have to prioritise. I make sure my partner and I have done all the chores or whatever else needs to be done before he gets or we get to game.

    • zerimama

      😂 I will say he does it when everything that needs to be done is done fortunately (like cleaning). I’m just a big baby and want all of his attention 😉

  • Sara-Jayne Jones

    My husband is a reader – and it’s the same with the kids here. They can see me working and ask me a million things, but he’s reading and they can’t possibly interrupt poor Daddy and his article!

  • Marc Schmidt

    I hope i’m not like this if/when I have kids. I love video games, but kids need attention from their dad. I didn’t really get a lot of that from mine so I hope I don’t do the same thing. You only get one opportunity to raise kids!

  • Kamapala Chukwuka

    Haha, I can tell you and your hubby are friends from how you’ve written this. However, you are absolutely right to vent for just how much time his gadgets take. We love to hate them really 🙂

  • Raina

    Yes!!! I feel you and I was a bit of a gamer before kids but don’t have the time now. I, literally, had this same conversation with my hubs this week!

  • J

    I feel your pain! There are so many times that I cannot handle my husband playing video games on his phone and it annoys the heck out of me. It distracts his time with me and there is increased tension. But nonetheless I still love him! Finding a balance is the important part!

  • Amber

    I love your honesty! Alot of the things you were saying I agreed with but my husband doesn’t play video games I related it to other things! I live when others express feelings that I have as well!

  • Kristyn

    I love that hubby has a hobby in playing video games. I hate it though when heat looses the game. His mood goes down quick and he tends to lose more when he gets agitated.

  • Fronie

    Omg. This is so great!! I can sooooo relate. Except it’s not games, It’s crossfit and the recliner. And i do understand. My husband is great too, but it would be nice for him to also understand that when i come home from work, i have to wash laundry, help with homework, fold clothes, etc. Not asking him to do anything, just asking him to understand that and leave me alone til I’m ready to engage with him.

  • Nicole Caudle

    I have a love-hate relation with my husband and his video game. We have an understanding so he doesn’t play during the day while we are awake. Only at night alone. So we don’t have to hear him if he loses…..lol

  • LavandaMichelle

    There’s a song my daughter liked called “Video Games” by Lana Del Rey and I think it perfectly fits this post. I understand you pain though, my husband likes basketball and he is constantly bouncing a ball around. It so loud! Thanks for sharing.

  • Nadine Richardson

    You took the words right out of my mouth. I would have written this exact letter. My husband, when I met him was a serious gamer. Like schedule time out his day because he had a scheduled tournament. I couldn’t understand the obsession and importance. But after a while, I had to accept that that was his thing and I’m sure he didn’t understand the importance of getting my nails done lol. And because I accepted it, the universe threw me a bone; he’s now more focused on working than gaming 😀

  • Erica

    I’ve been there, but I’ve also been the gamer…but not to an unhealthy extent. It can be frustrating! I think sometimes its a hard balance to have an outlet and letting that outlet take over! Thanks for sharing, I think a lot of couples deal with this…whether is phone, tv, or games!

  • Maddy

    Girl, I hear you! My husband has gotten so much better since we had a kid. But there are times where I am cleaning up the kitchen at night or folding laundry and he sits down to play… All the rage! I heard great marriage advice. If one person is working, both should be. Don’t sit until the other is ready to sit. Definitely made a difference!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: